For you people

I hope that you would have heard about Bill Cosby, entertainer. Hopefully I think that you would have seen at least an episode of his comedy, 'The Bill Cosby Show' on TV. Or even a cheap rehash of his tv show in the local vernacular language. If the answer is negative, please do not bother. I have managed to put here a chapter from his book. I hope you like it.


The Baffling Question.

So you've decided to have a child. You've decided to give up quiet evenings with good books and lazy weekends with good music, intimate meals during which you finish whole sentences, sweet private times when you've savoured the thought that just the two of you and your love are all you will ever need. You've decided to turn your sofas into trampolines, and to abandon the great art for the joys of frantically coping with the reproduction of yourselves.
Why?
Poets have said the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality; and I must admit I did ask God to give me a son because I wanted someone to carry on the family name. Well, God did just that and I now confess that there have been times when I've told my son not to reveal who he is.
“You make up a name,” I’ve said. I’ve said. “Just don’t tell anybody who you are”.
Immortality? Now that I have had five children, my only hope is that they all are out of the house before I die.
No, immortality was not the reason why my wife and I produced these beloved sources of dirty laundry and ceaseless noise. And we also did not have them because we thought it would be fun to see one of them sit in a chair and stick out his leg so that another one of them running by was launched like Explorer I. After which I said to the child who was the launching pad, “Why did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Stick out your leg”.
“Dad, I didn’t know my leg was going out. My leg, it does that a lot”.
If you cannot function in a world where things like this are said, then you better forget about raising children and go for daffodils.
My wife and I also did not have children so they could yell at each other all over the house, moving me to say, “What’s the problem?”.
“She’s waving her foot in my room,” my daughter replied.
“And something like that bothers you?”
“Yes, I don’t want her foot in my room”
“Well, why don’t you just close the door?”
“Then I can’t see what she’s doing!”
Furthermore, we did not have the children because we thought that it would be rewarding to watch them do things that should be studied by the Menninger Clinic.
“Okay,” I said to all five one day, “go get into the car”
All five then ran to the same car door, grabbed the same handle, and spent the next few minutes beating each other up. Not one of them had the intelligence to say, “Hey, look. There are three more doors.” The dog, however, was already inside.

Liked it? Of course, I have removed some parts in the end. If you indeed enjoyed it, pl inform, and I shall try to post some more.